Daniel’s Journal #50 – Grace and Style in Times of Darkness

There are things I have built into me, things I can’t quite explain. I can be just as specific by calling these things “stuff”, but that somehow makes it sound gross. “There’s stuff inside me.”

Most of what I do can best be described as acts of uselessness. Sounds harsh, but I mean that in the nicest way possible. I’m not being a pessimist today. I’ve actually been high on myself. It’s weird hearing me admit to that, right?

Getting back to the subject at hand, whatever that is. I’m not sure what it was supposed to be. But I almost never know the destination. The not knowing makes the trip more fun.

I’m off topic again, which isn’t a bad thing. The topic was… Stuff inside me! I mean: Things built into my being, my soul, my very reason for existing. Grace, style, and a certain something most humans (or otherwise) lack.

It’s a spark, a piece of electricity, a spare electron with no path or conduit. It zigs and zags, zipping around my mind like a happy dragonfly in the summer sun. Every now and again, the spark hits something, setting off a chain reaction. Ideas are set in motion, my body follows those ideas, and I go with the proverbial flow.

We’re adults. We lack imagination. We’re supposed to, anyway. That’s what we’re built to believe when we’re kids. Once you grow up, you end up like the grumpy old people who shun fun because it’s too loud and your unblemished little face is offensive. But there are those of us who have that spark, that imaginative little bastard that spurns us forward. It makes us think, makes us create, makes us do stuff that’s stupid and wonderful at the same time

Take your own words out of context. Piss off your in-laws. Belch the fucking alphabet at a staff meeting. Fall for someone on the other side of the country. These are the ideas, people. Live life by them.

I don’t care who doesn’t like me. It doesn’t matter who I offend. Like the wise sage Rick Steiner once said: “You don’t like me? Bite me!”

Those, my dear friends and readers, are words by which you should live.

-Daniel Aegan
8/8/19

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Still not sick of me? Check out my book:

Blood Drive by Daniel Aegan

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