Daniel Aegan

I am.

Don’t ask why. I don’t know. Something feels weird, stagnant. Is time repeating, or am I just caught in a loop? I don’t feel like I’m in a rut, but maybe the rut is stuck in me this time.

That doesn’t make any sense.

It’s time to shake things up. Maybe I’ll fight a monster or a whole hoard of them. I can take a lover or two. I can get in a fight easily. That would be sure to shake the cobwebs. I can always start a new relationship just to watch it burn like they all do in the end… That last one is the least appetizing but most likely to happen.

This time of year is always the same. Winter is about to hit us with its final blow, going out like a beast. I’m ready for spring and the new beginning it symbolizes. As comfy as I am on the couch with a blanket wrapped around me, I’m ready to get outside and bust out of my shell.

Or maybe I need to finish my story and get to the epilogue already.

The thing they don’t tell you about happy endings is they lose their luster over time. Heroes get bored with no battle to fight. Love fades. Time moves on, with or without you. Our bodies grow old and we pass the torch to the next generation while we piss and moan about how they weren’t as great as we were. Chapter 38 feels like a long way from the beginning when the idea was fresh.

What do I feel? I feel that the epilogue happened a long time ago. All we’re doing now is setting up the ill-conceived sequel with lies and self-delusion.

But that’s just me. I’ll shake off the cold, warm my soul, and pace myself into the next manic streak I have coming to me. I just hope people can clear their obstacles out of my way before they kill my momentum.

Wishful thinking. I hate it.

-Daniel Aegan
2/28/19

****

Still here? Check out Daniel Aegan’s newest book: Blood Drive.

Blood Drive by Daniel Aegan