Daniel’s Journal #29 – Another Day, Another Chapter

Ever wake up, feeling like a new person? I had this theory a while back. Maybe our souls refresh themselves. Today is a new day, but how new? Sure, I can go through the same old rhythms and the same dull routines, but that doesn’t mean I’m the same guy who did this same old shit yesterday. Does it?

I started a new chapter this morning. Literally. I was working on one of my WIPs, Excalibur Nights, and I gave my main character a new start. He woke up with a fresh mood. His excuse was that he was main-lining straight unicorn magic and had dreamt of having his old life back. He was caught in a cloud of optimism, but he’s going to soon find out what happens to that fluffy cloud when a walking pile of shit slams into it.

And damn… I just took a turn. Why can’t I offer a fictional character a reprieve from the rain of torment? Does that somehow reflect my own views on the dangers of optimism? And why am I asking dumb questions on my blog again?

Optimism doesn’t have to be a trap. It can be, but only if you let it be one. I wish I had something more profound and less cliche to add here. I don’t. I’m riding a high from publishing my book yesterday, and I’m looking over my shoulder for the wrecking ball.

You’re not cursed unless you truly believe you’ve been cursed. We curse ourselves. There’s no witch in the woods or evil voodoo priestess gunning for our souls. Demons will leave you be unless you fuck with them. We are always our own worst enemies.

But I’m am cynic. I’m not quite a pessimist (most days), and I’m allowed my moments of blind optimism. I lost track of my point, but that’s OK. Just figure this is a lesson in tracking a messy mind. It’s like mapping out the trajectory of a housefly instead of just swatting it.

Alright. Break time is over. Back to work, guys…

-Daniel Aegan
2/26/19

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